I have just watched a video which was quite inane and frankly pointless in it's message. You get no speech, just images of a young man involved in various domestic chores,family activities and outings. Good you say. What's wrong with that? The introduction to the clip starts with 'It's time" logo 'a la Gough Whitlam era' and we all know what a disaster that was. This clip is about marriage 'equality' and it ends with a clip of a young man opening a ring box and putting it on the hand of another man.
Whoever made the clip is very clever in his use of images and scenery because it is all about normalising the abnormal. It's trying to say it is OK for us to give in to unnatural desires and to fulfil our wants and desires even if they happen to be wrong or harmful to society at large.
Once we start with 'normalising the perverse or unnatural' we then go one step further and say child molestation is OK. The argument can be used that children should not be denied sex. Believe it or not that argument was used by some pedophiles to justify their abuse of children. Then we can also say being bashed by a marriage partner is also OK. The Catholics (let's hope they have changed that viewpoint) say marriage vows are 'until death us do part'.Quite masochistic with overtones of sadism. There is no mention of respect for others in the family and the people themselves.
The Jewish view of the institution of marriage is highly sensitive and sane. It is about seeing marriage as a holy state and one that brings kedusha to a family and imbues the family with a sense of respect for others and especially kavod for the father and mother.
Why are a man and woman joined together in marriage? Not simply to have children and continue the generations, but to imbue that relationship between a man and a woman with respect for each other, to be role models to future generations after - their children and their grandchildren, to acknowledge the Creator who made both of them and they are each and every man and woman joined in marriage - the bedrock of society.
The same cannot be said of a 'gay couple'. However lovely they may be, good people etc, etc, they fall down in one area. They are giving in to desires that are not natural and frankly abnormal. If a person has those desires they do need help. It is not like the desire to have a child, to contribute to society or even to be rich or successful or to be famous. It is something that is insulting in a way to the mother and the father that borne them.
Last week's parsha we talk about the twins Esaiv and Ya'acov. Esaiv was a man of the earth, red, hairy and lusty. A hunter who knew no boundaries and did not follow the normal standards of decent behaviour. Yet he was a man of great talent. Extremely talented and powerful. He was Rivka's son, just as Ya'acov was Rivka's son and yet Ya'cov the younger was the one chosen to be blessed. Why, you may ask and how cruel. But Rivka knew that Ya'acov was the man more suited to be a father to the Jewish nation. Esaiv was not leadership material, real leadership material, because he was impulsive and vulgar and had no boundaries if he wanted something he worked at getting it and did not care about who he hurt along the way. He could be extremely powerful and charismatic. However he used that power and charisma not for the service of others and to help build a community. It was all for self and there you have it. Ya'acov was gentle and perceptive. He was also strong but he cared about others. That is probably how he could deal with several wives and their children, but even then with Yosef and his brothers, he made mistakes.
To allow marriage between people of the same sex we are spitting in the face of G-D who made two sexes for a holy purpose which is more than just sexual reproduction. It is about partnership and human relationships and truly serving G-D and working towards holy purposes and creating a better world. I am not saying we need to be against people who are gay. Nor am I advocating hatred. I am saying we are being sensitive to their needs but saying to them gently but firmly, thank you, you are human and nice people, intelligent people, people who make great contributions to society, however sorry you cannot be married the way a man and a woman are married. You can have an acknowledged partnership just the way defacto partnerships exist, but you cannot be recognised under the title of marriage and all that that implies.
Let's draw a parallel or two. For example, I am a Jewish convert and I decide I wanted to marry a Cohen. It cannot be done and nor can such a relationship be ever recognised under Jewish law. It is illegal, forbidden and illegitimate and and furthermore any children of such a union bear great stigma in Jewish society because they are Chalal or Chalala. The male progeny of such a union has all the restrictions of a Cohen and none of the benefits. The females have a lessor stigma but a stigma just the same because their parents followed desires and not what G-D wants of them. Converts have to be stricter with themselves than the average run of the mill Jew and so do Cohenim for some similar and some different reasons. I could stomp my foot and throw a tantrum until the last stone of the third beit Hamikdash has been set in place and ever after. Nothing will change that fact and I had better start to accept the fact and move on to more appropriate service of Hashem and find another marriage partner who is more appropriate.
Most gay people I have known over the years have been incredibly gifted people but by the same token incredibly twisted emotionally and psychologically. They needed help. Some of them may have genetic dispositions to homosexuality and that is incredibly sad. They are like Esaiv in many ways. You can accept the person for who or what he or she is as a person but you cannot accept their behaviour or see them as fit for a leadership role in society. We want our children to have a normal life. We want our children to marry and to carry on the generations in the normal way and to build life and make life and this earth a better place to be. Not to destroy the moral fabric of a good society. A lot of things in this world are so mixed up because of the lack of communication and lack of understanding between people. We do not need gay marriage not because we dislike or hate homosexuals. We do not. We need to know and acknowledge them as human beings and people who can do good things, but they are not leadership material in a moral and just society. Why? Because someone who follows their desires in a very intimate sense like that, how can we be sure that such a person will not also follow his or her desires in more serious decisions that affect a greater number of people for the detriment. Sadly people who want to have 'equality in marriage' should reflect on just what they are asking for and that can never be as much as others want to sugar coat this issue and bring it down to emotional issues of 'love' etc etc, it is just nonsense and the gay community need to wake up and grow up. While I identify with their emotional pain, they have to be realists and not chase after castles in the air.
Esaiv felt great anguish at missing out on his father's blessing but then he chose to follow the life he led and no one led him by the nose. Instead later he wanted to kill his own brother. Now that is a dangerous person and one to be very wary of. Ya'cov by contrast was a dweller of tents and a person who was solid, sincere and honest to a fault. Some would say a little naive or more than, seeing the way he was tricked by Laban several times, but eventually he got his own back and went on to be one of the fathers of the Jewish nation.
I like Ya'cov most out of all the fathers. He was compassionate and warm, he had honesty and he was a little naive, but he was sincere. There was not a nasty bone in his body.
I prefer to end with this clip and as we go out into the next week we should reflect on what is our purpose here on this earth and how we can best serve others and G-D ultimately.
And just to show that I still do have a sense of humour I have several clips some serious and some not so.
These people wanted a Jewish wedding but were not Jewish. Two Jewish guys obliged them with a very unique and quite strange ceremony. They used a lot of Jewish elements and symbols but it was not a real Jewish wedding. I am not sure I agree with this. It is like some Jews wanting a catholic wedding. Not on.
By contrast, this is nice and dignfied
and some Israeli weddings
The more traditional Mitzva tanz
and the more orthodox version as the girl's face is covered completely and more modest.
and another one