During the past ten years or so in my life, even the last
twenty years, I have had some steep learning curves. The past year and this
present New Year have been no exception.
My latest lesson in life concerns not putting one’s own life
in danger and thus one’s family in order to pay an old debt and it is also
about honour and respect for others and knowing that everything happens for
reasons known only to the power that guides us all. We should not trust in our
fellow humans, but be guided by what is right and what should be.
It starts with an old debt that I owed someone, because I
had to borrow money to pay for a get. This person went guarantor and I was
working at the time. It was around $2,500 I think in 1992. I borrowed from a
Credit Union at a fairly good rate of interest and there was no problem with
the repayments for several years until I was overseas in Israel and not
working. I should have paid it off before I left. That was my first mistake.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I defaulted and my friend had to pay out
money and received a bad credit rating. I never intended to happen. I felt horrified. Also around the late
nineties a parent died who the friend was very close to this parent and friend
blamed me for the parent’s death as the parent and friend had argued about the
debt and later then the parent died of a heart attack.
I felt very bad about this and when I was back in Australia
I attempted to pay back some of the money and it was close to $5,000 because
there was interest and legal fees. I was
also dealing with some difficult situations with my now ex-husband at the time.
I was also pregnant and dealing with a very anti Semitic principal in
Narrandera and my own father had died, I was dealing with disputes in my family
and petty jealousies and a very anti Semitic sister in law whom I was really
glad lives in America, not Australia.
Later when I was bullied out of teaching after a transfer to
a school run by a Principal who was an old colleague and a good mate of the
Narrandera principal, I came down to Melbourne in an effort to try and heal,
get work and get on with my life. I had very little to do with the friend
except for a rather abusive phone call 15 minutes before the Jewish Shabbat
came in and when the friend would not listen to me that we should continue this
conversation at another time, I wished this person ‘Shabbat Shalom’ and said
‘We have to discuss this, but not now.’ and then hung up. I did not blame the
person who had every right to feel hurt. I also heard back through mutual
acquaintances and friends that it was being put about that I owed this person
$10,000 and then it was $20,000. I spoke to the person recently about this and
the comment I received was that when a Sandfly bites you, you often say it is
worst than it is.
Anyway just recently, I had a phone call and this person
asked me to do some editing. We agreed on a price and the bulk of the money
$1,500 was to go towards the old debt. I was to receive $500 in cash and there
was an offer of a bonus of $250 as it was quite pressured. I even put some of
my work at school aside to do this. I saw it as a sign from Hashem that I could
kill two birds with one stone. Pay back an old debt and to earn some money
towards rent before the New Year. There is an hourly rate for editing and there
is a page rate. We agreed on a page rate, rather than an hourly rate. I now know over the last few days that this
friend had no intention of paying me money.
I worked for around 25 to 30 hours on this text and did
grammatical editing, as well as editing for meaning and clarity on sentences
that were awkward or lacked specific meaning. Often the author knows what it
means, but the meaning is obscure or hidden from other readers. Also the
document was single spaced and I was told to leave the mark ups as “I have paid
heaps for that mark-up” and to do mine in different colour. I did so and then
was told it was too difficult as the person was dyslexic and to do it simply as
a word document and so it went on. My big mistake was not to set out a formal
contract which I am sure this person may not have agreed to because then the
person would have been bound by the contract. Instructions changed from day to
day and I re-edited and kept my cool when said person was obviously not cool
and I focussed on getting the work done. I did work to the dead line which was
originally my deadline as given. I had the whole text done on the Tuesday
before Rosh Hashana as my original deadline was 30th of September.
That would have been impossible as Rosh Hashana started on the 28th
of September. However the person wanted
this much done on the weekend before school broke up and I was trying to juggle
school, child and this editing commitment at the same time. So I did what I
could.
The person was happy that I had finished the work with a few
hitches before hand and finally we got it all in on the Tuesday, well before
the original deadline. I was not worried about the money coming in because I
thought this person is a friend and she must understand how difficult it is to
be a single parent and that I have been in very severe financial straits since
I was bullied out of teaching. Anyway I
trusted rather too quickly. When I asked for the money I was ignored and when I
asked again I was wished a Gamar Chatima
Tova and at my latest request when I outlined the difficulties I will face
without money like homelessness and possible eviction from my flat, but by the
same token I do not have hard feelings against the person whether they pay or
not, I was thanked for my wisdom and I could feel the smirk behind the email.
When you are confronted with someone who is acting in an intensely evil way
despite what they should be doing, you have to be calm and trust that G-D will
help you. It is a lesson in patience and faith.
Even if I am to end up on the street with my son and nothing in my
pocket it is a true lesson in faith ultimately. In order to really understand
G-D one must have no attachment to material possessions except for the
connivances that they present in order to fulfil the will of G-D. Torah is the
ultimate guide and I remember one day at this Christian boarding School St
Margarets in Brisbane when I was twelve and they constantly got me to write out
whole tracts of bible, the King James Version and I refused to believe in JC
thus refused to write out New Testament. Instead, I wrote out psalms and tracts
of the Old Testament because that was far more interesting and had deeper
wisdom than some repetitive ramblings by a bunch of confused and disorientated
followers of a Jew who was crucified by Roman soldiers. I also identified
strongly with the book of Job. The Old
Testament remained with me to the extent that at my new boarding School in
Warwick I was the only senior student who did not read the Bible to the school
in my Year. I think they knew I was not a Christian even though I went to a
Christian School. I was considered to have strange ideas and to dabble in
blasphemy. How that came about is another story not relevant to this one.
To end off – in my haste to pay off my debt to this person,
I have jeopardised my home with my son and I know that I know have the tricky
task of trying to placate a real estate agent knowing I will be nearly ten days
late with all my rent. I must make everything
formal and invoices. Even then it will not protect me against such a person as
this. I think this person has some long
standing jealousy or issues with me that go back years. I do not understand
why. This person has always been financially stable and never had to worry
about money. I, on the other hand, have had ups and downs financially and
trouble managing finances for the past five years while being unemployed and
even before, I have never been a good money manager. I hate dealing with money
and prefer to earn it and let others manage it.
We live and we learn.
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